Epiphany

You know every time I think of the word "epiphany" I think of that Office where Michael says that he has an "epiphery"...random. I know.

Anyway, I had one of those this weekend. Seriously, it was an awesome weekend. All because of 4 little words: General Relief Society Broadcast. The entire meeting was exceptionally good. I love Relief Society so much and being able to watch and listen to the women in the General Relief Society Presidency is so inspiring. Every time I listen to one of those women, I love my calling so much more.

As inspiring as their talks were, the one that really touched me was President Uchtdorf's talk. I've never had any talk speak to me like that.

In case you missed it, check it out here. President Uchtdorf spoke about 5 things we should never forget--5 "Forget Me Nots." I'm not going to summarize the whole talk--just the part that meant the most to me--the part that will change my life.

Forget Me Nots--the basis of President Uchtdorf's talk on Saturday night.

 "Forget not to be happy now." We shouldn't base our entire existence on one perfect goal because that is just a recipe for unhappiness. Like a bolt of lightning, it hit me that I am guilty of this. I worry about my weight pretty much all the time. I haven't always been like this. When I was in high school, I never thought about my weight or body image. I had a great figure. I was athletic, I could eat what I want and I was pretty confident about the way I looked. After graduation, I didn't do sports any more. I started to put on weight. I didn't think I was fat or anything. I knew better. But suddenly, I had hips. That was the beginning. The beginning of my quick decline to becoming what my good friend called a "body hater." Yes, I admit it. I have become a body hater. Honestly, I don't know how it happened, but I have been obsessed with what President Uchtdorf calls my "Golden Ticket"--the one thing that I think will make me most happy--and that is getting down to the perfect weight. It didn't matter how many people told me that I looked good or that I wasn't fat. I have felt so unhappy with the way I look that I can't see anything else. As President Uchtdorf was speaking, I realized that I have become so consumed with my "Golden Ticket" that I had forgotten to just enjoy life. It hit me that I have a lot going for me and I was missing that because of how obsessed I am with how imperfect I think my body is.

My epiphany (or ephiphery...take your pick) is this: I am beautiful. Simple right? But it's what I needed and I needed it to come from the Spirit. Not from my mom, not from my friends. It didn't even come from President Uchtdorf's mouth. It was a clear and direct revelation from the Spirit of God. And I believe it. So this is my new philosophy. I am beautiful. I have good teeth and great hair. I have the Gospel in my life and that is enough. Yes, I am overweight and unhealthy. Those are things I need to change. But while I'm changing them, I'm still going to wear gorgeous clothes. I am still going to let myself be happy with who I am and what I look like now. I will NEVER let my weight consume me again.

President Uchtdorf's final point was to never forget the God loves us. This is how I know that God loves me--he called a man who spoke on Saturday night and said the exact things I needed to hear. Things that opened by heart and mind to the Spirit and helped me get on that path to loving myself the way I am. From now on, I'm going to let myself be happy. I will be happy now. I will not become to consumed with finding my "Golden Ticket" that I forget to enjoy the chocolate bar.

Forget me not flowers will never mean the same to me.